Water wasters
The characters in romance novels are the opposite of environmentalists when it comes to wasting water. They shower half a dozen times a day. Their hair must be moldy from never actually drying. Hot...
View ArticleSquabble about the important stuff
“There’s only one way to eat leftover fried chicken and that is cold. Stop asking me if I want it heated up. Blasphemer.” I love that man. He pushes all the right buttons.
View ArticleCar update
The dealership repaired the seat belt. The back window has been replaced a second time because it didn’t take the first time. I didn’t know that was a possibility, but if there’s rare chance of...
View ArticleTalent not included
“If you put the time you spend reading into writing, you could publish a book. Make some money.” “Mmmkay. I’ll go ask the hospital if they’d let me perform a brain surgery. Probably more money there....
View ArticleInvisibility shield, activate
“You and dad are BOTH going to walk me across the field on senior night. I don’t care if you’re in jeans and a t-shirt or one of your Molly Weasley outfits.” I need to borrow one of those full body...
View ArticleBeyond the usual creepy weirdness
On October first, the big off-brand Rubbermaid style buckets get dragged up from the basement so that the children can scatter bats and skulls and assorted Halloween decorations all over the house....
View ArticleDark, white, bright, line dry
A small part of our family oddness is explained by the reminder that we once had five children living in this 1 1/2 bath house with the world’s tiniest hot water heater tank. To keep the washer and...
View ArticleGood hearts
‘Do you like your child’s SO?’ I’m asked this question with surprising regularity and it still surprises me. If the person my child is seeing is making them both happy, that’s as deep as I need to...
View ArticleAmazon Prime reading
I cancelled Kindle unlimited because I couldn’t justify the expense. Then, I tried the books that are free if you have Amazon Prime since the husband is a Prime member. Most of the Prime books were...
View ArticleDon’t drink alone
At least one weekend a month, the husband is away on a scout or work trip. A few weeks ago, his away weekend coincided with all of the children being on adventures of their own. Home alone with no...
View ArticleMy dog is strange and unusual
My dog has a few behavioral quirks. She collects kitchen utensils and silverware if they are drying on the counter or soaking in the sink.She buries silverware in the couch cushions.Knows what “sit”...
View ArticleProbably not
“I’m going to participate in NaNoWriMo. You should do it too so we can be accountability partners.” Why can’t it be something effortless, like No Shave November? Except, not that because I don’t make...
View ArticleEven better than flying toasters
When the husband wanders off for a distraction free phone call, I pause whatever we’re watching in out rare hour of together while awake and not too busy time. With the pause, comes the screensaver. I...
View ArticleKinky lightbulb realization
I was this many years old when I realized that the literary/movie/TV trope about vampire bite victims/partners orgasming during bloodletting is a romanticised version of autoerotic asphyxiation.
View ArticleInstead of remaking movies
While watching movies from my personal Halloween playlist, it occurs to me that I need to compile a list of movies that would be vastly improved by eliminating the soundtrack and replacing it with...
View ArticleSenior Night
Without a dinosaur costume, I went with RBF for Senior Night on the high school football field in a monsoon. Soggy
View ArticleCreepy Reads
The first ‘sleep with the lights on’ book I read was Firestarter. It was handed to me by my father. “You’re too old for Nancy Drew. Read this.” I loved it and not just because it felt like I’d...
View ArticleI hate talking about health issues
But I’m going to do it anyway. I once went to the Doctor with one eyelid swollen and painful. He looked at it from his wheelie stool on the other side of the exam room and then gave me a script for...
View ArticleOpinionated creatures
The husband put a motion sensor that makes Star trek noises at the bottom of our staircase. Reactions were mixed. One child picked it up and played with it while mumbling to himself. Another walked...
View ArticleNo unicorns here
“Are you reading in the bathtub again?” “I’m a narwhal. This is necessary.”
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